So you’ve decide to venture into the deliciously treacherous world of Flavorade, huh? Good on ya! But before you pop that cap and take a hit, you need to know a few things—things your momma, your kindergarten teacher, and even your dog didn’t prepare you for.

High Risk of Flavor Addiction:

Y’know how folks get addicted to TV shows, video games, or nose-picking? Well, buddy, Flavorade is even more addictive. This stuff is like the video game cheat code of vapes: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, Sip, Sip! Oh look, you just unlocked unlimited FLAVOR. Don’t say we didn’t warn ya when you find yourself sippin’ in the shower, sippin’ in your dreams, or even sippin’ while you’re sippin’. Flavorception, baby!

The Secret Society:

The first sip of Flavorade is your initiation into our secret society of Flavor. You’ll find yourself exchanging knowing nods with other Flavorade drinkers as you pass them on the street. At family events, you’ll bring your own Flavorade and pity the fools vaping plain ol’ distillate. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself wanting to build a Flavorade altar with empty carts, or discovering clandestine Reddit threads debating the supremacy of Sour Diesel over Gelato 41. Also, don’t be surprised if you’re nominated as the “Flavor Guru” at our annual secret Flavorade underground meetings (oops, we’ve said too much).

Obsession Potential:

You know that friend who won’t shut up about CrossFit or Keto or whatever? You’re about to become that, but for Flavorade. We’re talking shirts, hats, bumper stickers, and a Flavorade tattoo that you’ll later explain to your grandkids as “a wild phase.” Your first-born child? Don’t even think of naming them anything other than Flavorade (Flavy for short, of course). Be prepared to lose friends or—let’s be real—realize who your true friends are. You’ll soon measure your life not in bong rips, but in sips of Flavorade.

Your Last Warning:

If you find yourself Googling “How to marry a Flavorade cart”, “Is Flavorade a personality type” or “Flavorade Secret Society meetup,” you’re already too deep. There’s no turning back.

So go ahead, uncork the magic—but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

*Flavorade is not responsible for any existential crises, identity overhauls, or frenzied Flavorade pilgrimages. Enjoy responsibly.